Really trying to figure out what is next. Trying to figure out how to respond to emails, letters and words. Some of them harsh. Some of them pleasant.
Been asked to lead a fellowship once a week where I live during this season of my life. At first I definitely thought it would be a great idea. Do some singing. Have some sharing and prayer time. What a wonderful way to interact with the men who live here. To help input hope and meaning into their lives.
And then I started thinking.
Would it be right to say "yes" to such an opportunity when I am going to be gone so often during this year?
God has opened up a heap of doors for me to spend time with my family and many others in my life. I love getting together one-on-one with anybody. I believe that is where true discipleship and growth occurs.
So I have been thinking.
I am not sure I am ready to take on such a task as has been asked of me. I am stable yes. But I would not be able to lead such a fellowship on a consistent basis. And to me that would not show good integrity.
Been told several times over the last couple years that I have a shepherd/pastor's heart. Not exactly sure what that means. The only thing I do know, is that the Lord has changed my heart from one of bitterness over my situations from the past to one of compassion for any person. He has shown me that all are redeemable, changeable and lovable. And I do mean all.
Over Christmas, my children reminded me of something I used to say often.
The only thing of lasting value is God's Word and people.
So what to do?
I know at this time, I am to remain where I am. Through my prayers and living out my life for Christ, my open door style, and hoping my presence makes a difference, through showing forgiveness and letting all the men I am around know I am human and prone to mistakes, through praying through the hallways of this building, through loving these men as Christ loves me...
That is what I am to be doing.
Until the Lord tells me otherwise.
My son, Michal, who is doing a ministry school through Calvary of Albuquerque told me that one percent of a shepherds ministry is from the pulpit. That is scary. I don't want to be caught up into political correctness or "church" politics. We, as people of God, are the church.
Toward the end of 2 Corinthians chapter 1 and the beginning of chapter 2, there are some powerful words which have impacted my life.
We want to work together with you so you will be full of joy, for it is by your own faith that you stand firm.
At the beginning of chapter two, Paul says this:
For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved.
These next verses are the ones which truly hit me on the head:
Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.
And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ's authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.
Forgiveness helps us outsmart our enemy, whether in flesh or spirit. That is my response.
So, back to my thinking.
What are your thoughts?
Continuing to joy in the journey,
David
