suffering in thankfulness

There has been a lot written about thankfulness lately. Many posts on Facebook and other social media sites. Guess it is the "season" to show and express that attribute of our lives. Kinda wonder why we do not do it all the time. With that said, I want to add my own.

Of course I am thankful for Christ. He has lavished me in so many ways that are almost unwritable and unspeakable, but through groanings in my heart and spirit only the Lord can hear.

Michal, Brendon, Jonathan and Kacia, my four beautiful children, are incredible bright spots in my life. The Lord blessed me so much over the years with their lives. Sometimes I think they have taught me more in the last few years than I have them over their years!

I will admit that it has not always been pleasant, happy, and mountain top celebration times. We have been through a lot. Death and life have both visited our family. Physical and spiritual. Death of the old and life of the new through baptism in Christ. Wow!

God has blessed me through some incredibly hard times as well. Have learned some enormous lessons through the pain and bitterness. Been able to exchange those, at least quite a bit,  for joy and celebration. Much more laughter and "dancing" lately.

I want to express my gratitude to many who have prayed, rebuffed, corrected and showed me that life is worth living. That it is. To the fullest!

If I were to try and make a list of all I am thankful for it would be unending.

But I want to share just a few highlights.

Incarceration, though a number of years ago, taught me to trust family and others around me. To learn to let go of the past and embrace the future. Not just the physical but also the spiritual. And by the way, the spiritual prison is so much more painful. It is hell, being separated from God.

Unlearning of who I was taught Christ was by society and culture and who He is personally to me in my life. Unlearning is a valuable way for all of us to truly learn.

Meeting people where they are. I used to think that people in my "situation," those who had "hurt" family or society or in one way or another, were unredeemable. That is not the truth. God wants to redeem all who love Him.

Prayer and it's power on mine and others lives. When I took the Perspectives course this last year I learned a phrase that really stuck with me.

You'll never know what prayer is for until you know that life is war.

Prayer is, I believe, one of the most powerful tools we have in our fight against the enemy of our souls. It ranks right up there with hiding God's Word in our hearts! Christ is showing me an abundance of peace, pleasure and happiness in prayer. Prayer changes our attitude.

God is continuing to restore, reveal, redeem, reconcile.

God break my heart for what breaks yours.

But this should not be all about what I have been learning. I really have to share about our fellowships on Mondays and Wednesdays. Was such a great night tonight. Eleven of us. But actually an even dozen, cause God really rocked our talk and study this night.

"God's Word is truth before it happens."

"Our tears for others are like Christ's shed blood for them."

"Normal programming is so filthy and I am so clean in Jesus I am unable to watch it."

Guess I'll leave whoever reads this with a question. One that is found in the first couple verses of Romans 12.

How are we a "living sacrifice?"

Continuing to joy in the journey!

D

"See"

It has been a while since I have posted anything on this blog. After a recent conversation, I began thinking about our character and how people "see" us.

So here goes.

All of us have a past. Some of ours may just be more recent than others. But as someone so aptly told me:

Your past is not the sum total of who you are.

How do we get people to see the truth in those words? 

By our change of speech? Nope. Anyone can change the type of words that come out of their mouths. Spouting more words you learn from a dictionary is not the answer.

By the change in our appearance? Plucking out unwanted eyebrows or ear hair? Using a grey away to make us look younger?  Exercising?

Nope. Those are only personal. They help keep us healthy and feeling good. Which is important. These  are not "seen" changes. All of that is only outward. 

The only way we can really let people "see" how we have changed is through change in our character. And even that will take time. 

I "see" it this way. People are always profiling us in regards to our past. Let them vent. Let them spin yarns, here-says, rumors. After a while, people get tired of hearing themselves rant and rave. And then it will cease. They will not have anything more bad to say. 

That is why I so enjoy these verses from God's Word. 

Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. 

Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, 

and they will give honor to God when he judges the world. 

It is God's will that your honorable lives should silence those 

ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you. 

For you are free, yet you are God's slaves, 

so don't use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. 

1 Peter 2.12,15,16

Our character, our honorable behavior will allow others to give honor to God. Wow!

Pretty cool way to help others "see."

What say you?

Celebrating the joy in the journey,

D.

A disjointed ramble

I've been thinking. I realize that at times that can most certainly be dangerous. But lately it seems to be occurring more frequently. Not sure if that means more danger or not!

Last time I posted, I revealed some about my life over the last years. Some deep, dark, skeletal secrets, that had been hidden in a stuffy damp closet. Feels good to let them out, as I wrote before. Now I am beginning to fill those spaces with God furniture. God clothing. God character.

But there is something that has been troubling me.

I am aware of a prevailing thread of fear that has weaved it's head into society. The media certainly helps it along. The media feeds an incredible amount of fear into society.

To be truthful, I am glad there is talk about those many hard issues that effect lives. They need to be explored and brought out into the light. But not exploited to keep people from experiencing freedom.

I  know personally men, and women, who have made tremendous turnarounds in their lives. Many were consumed with grief and pain, sometimes from childhood. Now, they have been touched by God. Yes, the Lord can touch even the vilest heart and mind! And change those very same lives!

People change from the inside out. Remember the verse about people wanting to whitewash their lives? The great tragedy in that, is the outside might look bright and shiny, all painted and touched up, all bright and cheery, but the inside is still smelling and looking like a skunk.

Society has also been whitewashed. It needs to look inside itself as well. And clean out those ugly corners it holds up in pride. Society needs to learn to forgive. I know from experience it is easier to have family forgive, and I am not saying forget, for those are two separate issues, than it is for society to let one in again. Society has a hard time forgiving.

When it comes down to it, I feel sorry for our society. I am grieved. So I pray that we as a people will quit putting our trust in worldly thoughts and "princes who speak one thing and do another." The Word says we will be known by our fruit. Spiritual fruit.

I want to be known by my fruit.

For a time my fruit was rotting on the ground. My life, shaken, torn and dug up, was leaning and ready to be separated from the roots. To come crashing down. But there were people, it seemed like just a few, but sure it was more than I can number, out there, who did not give up on me. They propped themselves up into my life and helped me put my roots a bit deeper into the ground.

There are many more like me out there.

Most are just waiting for someone to come and speak into their lives words of encouragement and hope. Words of forgiveness. To help them plant their feet and their lives beside the springs of living water. Not next to a dried up well. To feast on sumptuous spiritual food, not on dry, stale and moldy lies.

Maybe you are one who can help. Who can speak those words into someone's life.

Guess what I am trying to say in this rambling, disjointed post is this:

I forgive you society. Even if you do not want to forgive me. If I remember correctly, there is quite a bit about the subject of forgiveness in the Scripture. Oh yes, I am quite aware what many would say in return. But I won't go there. I am not here to raise a ruckus or get into an argument.

I want to simply forgive as I have been forgiven.

So society, locally and at large, there you have it.

Yes, I know it is strange.

One person forgiving and praying for your change.

Now. What will you do?

Continuing to joy in the journey,

David

Pray

You want to give the enemy of your soul, aka the devil, aka Satan, a black eye?


Pray!

You want to disrupt the effect "the father of lies" has on your your life and others?

Pray!

You want to see the "prince of darkness" squirm and squeal and throw a tantrum in anger?

Pray!

You want to see a grown "man" cry?

Pray!

Pray without ceasing!

Pray for the fallow ground to spring forth with beauty from ashes!

Pray for rain to penetrate the soil and bring life to what the enemy has tried to steal, kill and destroy!

It is time to give that old "rascal" a whooping!

Pray! Simply. Fervently.

Press into the Father, the Creator, the Sustainer, the Comforter, the Redeemer, the Restorer of life and relationships and ....

PRAY!

----------------------------

What I just wrote above comes after an incredible time of fellowship and worship last night at our "house" church. It was "off the hook!" as one of those there said. And it was! 

People were asking for prayer. Mainly for their families. Children. Siblings. 

And so we prayed. We sang. We praised with our hearts and then went even deeper. We worshipped with our souls. 

I do not remember a time since joining this group two and half years ago that we have had interaction with the Spirit and one another as we did last night. 

So when I got back to my "apartment" we kept praying. We prayed for a man who for seven years has lived in a "hell" and been separated from his family. We talked. We cried. We pressed in till we felt a breakthrough. The two of us finished praying at 12.30

But the Lord impressed upon me to continue to pray. Who am I to go against Him!? 

I am just simply someone who is wanting to grow deeper in love with Jesus. An ordinary man who wants to see God do an incredibly powerful move in my life and in others. But that takes an obedience to humble, follow and submit to His will. Not one's own.

I am consistently told I am "owned" by the government. Bah Humbug! I am owned by my Saviour and Lord and when he says to do something, well, we had better!

I finally felt as if the Lord was saying to me "OK. That is enough. For now."

That was at three this morning.

Am I saying that I am better than anyone else? That I have more power or faith? No way. 

What I am saying is this:

Do what God tells you to do. 

No matter the time of day or night, the season you are going through, whether the situation seems unbearable or too long and drawn out, He calls us to pray.

So there you have it. A typical, yet somewhat unique night in the life of this blogger.

Till the next excitement.

Continuing to walk in joy in the journey.

David

Truth

I am labeled a felon. 

Quite a long time ago, or so it seems, but in reality only a few years ago, five to be true, I was released from jail after having spent six months inside. Why? What could I have done to be placed in such an environment? I emotionally wounded several family members through my actions, words and manners. I acted in ways quite unbecoming.

Jail is more than a physical building. It is a spiritual void as well. I lived in both.

Evil had found a way into my life. I succumbed to bad dreams, thoughts and voices. Saying and doing things outside of my character. Even my family did not recognize me. In reality, I did not recognize myself!

Instead of fighting I gave up. I quit the ministry we as a family had been with for so long. How I wish I had not! Family, especially my children, had been pushed to the background. Closing my eyes and ears to those more wise had taken a back seat.  Not being in the Word. Not seeking help from my own emotional turmoil and scarring led me to a breakdown like I had never known. 

I am thankful that most all of my family have continued to love and support me in ways I could never have imagined. For their intervention into my life and putting up with me while I recovered and worked through my life. 

I know I will never, in my own power or strength, be able to redeem and make right my relationships with all of my family.

But I do know I have over the last few years been able to overcome so many self doubts and lies both from people around me and those enemies of our soul which are always looking for a way to steal, kill and destroy.

My friend Tim, has encouraged me much by his words.

This is what I wrote in a response to one of his blogs. 

Tim, thank you for sharing from your heart. I too have been afraid to talk of my past as well. Former Bible translator, someone looked up to in the community, etc, etc.... 

Even though the last few years or so have been extremely difficult and painful, God is beginning to redeem that lost time. Restored relationships, beginning work on translation again, gaining a bit of credibility and trust. But I must admit, it has not been an easy path. Lots of emotional bruising that I did to people I love. And not just bruising but some deep wounding.

Thankful for God's grace that has been running interference to satan's lies. Thank you so much for your honesty. You have helped to open a number of doors for others who thought they had lost all, but are gaining back more. I too, have been given a second chance.

Blessings in Jesus to you.

So why am I posting something so personal, dark, and damning? Why am I sharing it out in the light?   

For the simple fact that God says we are to share honestly and openly with those who walk in the light with us.

Is it hard to write this? Most assuredly! Is it scary to not know how anyone stumbling upon this blog will respond. Again, yes! But we are not bound by man's identity of our lives. We are simply and totally bound to our Lord Jesus and His life in and through us.

This is also freeing. It is like a cleansing walk under a waterfall. Like a releasing of a fear that has tried to hold me captive by shame and regret. Thank God for that release.

I have renewed relationships and am once again involved in life. To the fullest I am able. Working on translation. Singing. Playing guitar. Blogging (of sorts). Actually more like journaling. Being involved in a local ministry to those, who as I did, think in their minds they have fallen from grace. Photography. Bike riding. Just plain and simply, living. 

Not surviving. 

LIVING!

So whoever may read this, or chance upon these simple words, this is what I have to say.

Let Jesus, who speaks more than words, who speaks freedom and life, take control of your life.

He is the one who always gives a second chance. He loves unconditionally and will never give up on you.

Continuing to joy in the journey.

Amen!